Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
