it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
