what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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