there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
