If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
