I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
