I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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