I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
