Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you

Fav 11 1759 3203
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(917): View more from New York City

i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you

Fav 8 3988 934
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(914): View more from New York

Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.

Fav 13 3764 1208
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?

Fav 27 2699 7070
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(208): View more from Idaho

How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?

Fav 30 4088 1839
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(303): View more from Colorado

Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.

Fav 7 2011 706
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(315): View more from New York

So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"

Fav 6 787 497
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(303): View more from Colorado

well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.

Fav 4 486 239
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(936): View more from Texas

Ate a slug for 39 dollars

(903): View more from Texas

I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student

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