What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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