I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
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