I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Randomize
