its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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