Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
