i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
