that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize