I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
"it" just moved
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
