Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You work out of a Hotel?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
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