If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
