We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
