my soul wont recognize me after tonight
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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