the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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