Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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