Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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