whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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