I can tuck mytits in my pants
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
