god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
