You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
