I bet he comes in French.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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