My nipple is on Facebook.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
