He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
