So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
