How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
