oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
