This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize