Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
