I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
