I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize