You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
