Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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