we're blogging at a bar
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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