My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
