Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
