Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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