You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
