i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
