don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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