dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
