i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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