If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
