So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
