Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
