Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
