I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
