So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
