I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
