k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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