you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
