this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize